- This past weekend, Xavier Carter of LSU won four golds at the NCAA Track and Field Championships. He was part of the winning 4x100 relay team and the 4x400 relay team. But what really gets me is that he won both the 100 meter dash and the 400 meter dash. Not only did he win both events but he set personal bests in both: 10.09 in the 100 and 44.53 in the 400. I know it's not the same as Carl Lewis winning four golds in the 1984 Olympics or Marion Jones winning five overall medals at the 2000 Olympics. But winning a 100 and a 400 at the same meet (on the same day and only 31 minutes apart) may be the most impressive accomplishment I've ever heard of in track and field.
- Last week I was out with a friend and somehow we got on the subject of kids. And she made the statement that she thinks that I'm not going to be the disciplinarian. That amused me. I asked her why she thought that way and she said, "I don't know. You're just so laid back that I can't really see you being the kind to discipline." Ok, I guess. But then she went on to say something that really got me bugging. She said, "I don't think you're going to be the disciplinarian because you're laid back...like your dad."
Um...nicka, what?
She thought that my dad wasn't a disciplinarian? Oh, I had to correct that misguided notion right away. Now, my dad was never a dictator, or the kind of parent to force us to do what he wanted. BUT...when it came time to mete out discipline, my father was not one to hesitate. I still remember the worst one I ever got, mostly because it was applied to all three of us.
I was probably around nine or ten (making Ayo seven or eight and Ebun five or six). In school I had learned how to play indoor balloon volleyball. That is, we'd take a regular ballon and play volleyball over some a small net. It was so much fun that I just had to teach my sibs so that they could share in the enjoyment with me. So I taught them how to play, using a table or an excercise bike as our makeshift net (isn't it amazing how much imagination children have?) One day our dad saw us and told us not to do it because we might break something. And we were all like, "Come on, old man. It's a balloon. It won't break anything." (Of course, we didn't say that out loud.) But since our father had told us not to do it, we respected his command. While he was around.
So one Saturday morning, we were done watching cartoons and we decided that it was time to engage in some balloon volleyball. So we start playing. Oh, look how much fun we're having! And then one of us hits the balloon and it starts to go up. Towards the ceiling. Specifically, towards the light fixture in the ceiling. None of us were concerned because the balloon hadn't been hit that hard and really just seemed to be floating peacefully in the air. But for some reason, when it came in contact with the light fixture, it was the fixture that decided to yield way. In other words, it shattered in pieces while the balloon lazily floated back down.
We stood there staring at our handiwork for at least five minutes. How had this just happened? But finally, I had to go tell my dad what had occurred. See, this is how stupid kids are. We were doing something that our dad had specifically told us not to do while he was in the house and could have caught us at any moment. So my dad comes out, examines the destruction that his children had just wrought, then orders me to go grab is favorite weapon of punishment: his right sandal. So I fetch it, hand it over, and since I'm the oldest I get to have the punishment administered to me first. My sister was next because Ayo's in the middle. Where she at? In the middle. After that...the fun began.
When it was my brother's turn, my dad called him to come over. But I guess that Ebun, after seeing his brother and sister get the beatings of their lives and sitting in a corner crying and letting snot run down their noses, wanted no part of that. So he just takes off running. I'm laughing at the memory because I have absolutely no idea where he thought that he could go, but hey, he was gonna give it an effort. My dad chased him at first. But then he outsmarted him. After chasing Ebun for a couple of minutes, my dad decided to hide behind a door. Ebun had just been running this entire time so he unaware that he was no longer being pursued. So he continues to run, until he runs right past the door my dad was hiding behind. And as Ebun comes running by, my dad's hand jets out, grabs his arm and now the credits are rolling on Run, Ebun, Run. The most prominent recollection I have of that is my dad trying hard to suppress a smile. I actually wanted to laugh myself. But it hurt too much.
Sometimes, after being punished, my dad would come talk to us and say, "I really don't like punishing you." Oh yeah? Sure coulda fooled me. Well, that's how I felt then. Obviously, as I got older I realized that he really didn't want to punish us but he would do so until we learned the difference between right and wrong. Or at least until we learned how to cover our tracks better. But coming from that background, it really amazes me how some parents allow their kids to act nowadays. I'm sure we've all been at the mall or been out eating somewhere and some little kid just starts screaming bloody murder. And the parents sit there and let them do it! WTF? Don't get me wrong, my mom would let us throw tantrums too. If we were at home. But if we ever tried to pull that mess when we were out somewhere...boy. We had better NOT embarass her in public. One of her favorite sayings was, "If you're going to cry, I'll really give you a reason to cry." So I dunno. When I see kids acting up in public it just irritates me.
Or when kids tell their parents to shut up. The hell!?!??!??! Look here: as I'm typing this, I'm 28 years old, I stand five inches taller than my dad and the mere thought of saying those two words to either of my parents terrifies me. Not even as a joke. "Shut up" is something you say to your peers. Parents should not be treated as peers. The closest I'll ever get to that is when I call them by their first names. And even then, it's only as a joke and I know I better not try that more than once or twice a year.
There's definitely something to the belief that parents from other cultures raise their children differently than those from within this culture. I could explain further but I think Russell Peters does a better job of it, so I'll let him tell you.
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