- Just want to take a moment to give it up to my BU Bear cubs. Even though they lost to Oklahoma, they took them to double overtime. Combined with the overtime loss to A&M, we're just a few plays away from being 6-1 (and bowl eligible) instead of 4-3. Even though the schedule doesn't reflect it, Guy Morris has done a great job with the team and they're playing a lot better than they have in a long time.
- Y'all remember when I ran into Flip at the Mars ILL show? Well, we were talking for a while and he asked me if I'd heard any of Late Registration yet. I think my response was something along the lines of, "No way, man. I don't like Kanye West. Yeah, he's got some sick beats but he's an average emcee at best. And I cannot stand his attitude." And Flip just looks at me for a moment before saying, "Dude, I love Kanye West."
Oh.
I seem to recall that within the past year both Goz and Ebun tried telling me how good The College Dropout is and recommending that I pick it up. And I think that I was pretending to listen while actually trying to figure out what was inside the hatch on Lost. But now I've had my homegirl Goz tells me to try Kanye, my brother Ebun tells me to try Kanye and my tropical brother Flip is telling me to try Kanye. Ok, so I'll try Kanye. I found both albums for really cheap (thank God for Amazon.com) and I spent the past couple of days listening to them. And they're pretty good albums. I don't think they're classics; they won't be enough for me to allow Kanye West into the Hip Hop Hall of Fame when I'm its curator in 2027. But there are definitely some ridiculous beats (no surprise), Kanye talks about some stuff and his emceeing improved from the first album to the second. So Goz, Ebun and Flip, thanks for proving that I don't know everything about hip hop. Yet.
- Speaking of Kanye, I remember when he first blew up and people tried to claim him as Nigerian. "You know, his real name is Olukanye." Why do people do this? They tried to claim that Omarosa was Nigerian too. Why on earth did they want to claim her? I guess it goes back to when Nigerians got burned by Nas. Everyone was all giddy because of the thought that he was half-Nigerian. His pops name is Olu Dara. But it turns out he's from Mississippi. He just took that name when he traveled to Nigeria and fell in love with the people and the country. So now whenever they feel they can pull it off, they'll try to claim anyone they feel they can get away with. What, Seal, Sade and Femi Kuti aren't cool enough anymore? Well, I'm here to start the campaign for some African celebrities who haven't received their due credit. That's right, Dave Matthews and Charlize Theron. That's my African brother and my African sister. So join me in celebrating: "Heep heep heep!!!! (Hooray!!!!) Heep heep heep!!!! (Hooray!!!!)"
- I think being African in America is a little bit different than any other hyphenated American. Because when a person sees an Asian, they're like, "Ok, Asian." Same thing with Arabic or Latino. But when they see an African, they're like, "Ok, black." It's almost like a hidden race. But things change once they find out that you're African. It happens at different times for different people. Every once in a while they may figure it out by looking at you. More often, it's when you start to speak. And sometimes it's not until they learn your name or you actually mention it. But regardless of when it happens, once they find out that you're African a transformation occurs in their eyes. At that point, you're no longer a person. Now you're a specimen.
Because people watched one hour of Africa on the Discovery Channel when they were in 10th grade they think that that's all Africa is. But now they have a real live African in front of them to test out their knowledge. And apparently, that gives them the license to start asking the most ignorant questions imaginable:
"Did you live in a hut out in the jungle?"
"How did you learn to speak English?"
Last week I was talking to this guy at work. And I guess he had been listening to the aforementioned Kanye West. Because he asked me if my family was involved in diamonds back in Africa. Really. Dude, if I were involved in the diamond trade, do you think I'd be working here, talking to you? When I was in high school, I ran track. And people would ask me if I learned to run so fast by chasing lions and tigers back home. WTF?
One of my friends over on MySpace is my man, QD. He's not going to remember this story, but trust me, it did happen. QD and I met about 15 years ago when we were both 7th graders in the Pre-International Baccalaureate program at fair Morningsi-i-i-de Middle School in Fort Worth. First day of class and we had to do one of those exercises where we buddy up and exchange five interesting things about ourselves. I can never think of anything interesting about myself so one of my default answers is that I was born in Nigeria. When QD heard that, his eyes widened and he said, "You look like a regular person!" That was like a Dave Chappelle moment for me because I didn't realize right then that that was an insulting statement. It wasn't until later that I thought, "Hold up..." But to be fair, QD didn't mean it to be insulting. By the way, QD, when's the last time you went by Morningside? That place has changed, dude. Remember the liquor store across the street where all the dealers used to slang? Gone. There's a church there now.
The most interesting story though, comes from Kuli. He told me about his freshman year at UTA when another student found out he was from Africa. So from then on out, everytime this guy saw Kuli he would ask him the same question: "Hey, how come those kids with the flies on their eyes just don't blink?"
On the other hand, you can also use the ignorance to amuse yourself. Like when Ebun managed to convince half of his friends that, due to a uniquely developed digestive system, most west Africans have no need to defecate.
TITLE TAKEN
Hieroglyphics (Del the Funky Homosapien); "At the Helm"
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